![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Don't ask why I know about this
Aug. 8th, 2009 10:37 pmThanks for nothing, internet.
I'm guessing that when you're a Disney teen singing sensation (and also when you wish upon a star) that you eventually have to do your own version of a Disney standard. It makes sense. Disney gets to resell songs that they probably don't have to pay any writers for to entirely new audiences. Lizzie Mcguire... uh, what was her real name? Oh yeah, Hillary duff, did, In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room. Back when she was the idol du jour, but times and tastes have changed and as weird as her remix was, it is not the point of this post.
Nay, people who are already bored and confused by this entry, This post is about The Jonas Brothers of all people, who have their very own version of, Yo Ho, (A Pirate's Life For Me). If you're in a particularly masochistic mood, here's a funky-fresh fan-vid I ganked off ye olde you tube.
"Have no fear of evil curses says you? Properly warned ye be, says I.
If you're familiar with the original song you may notice a few subtle differences between that one, and this omg so punx rawk! version by the brother's Jonas. The first thing that stuck out to me was that they never actually say the, "Yo ho, Yo, ho" part, but more important is how, much like the ride itself, this song has been sanitized for your protection.
The Brothers Jonas encourage you to, "Stand up me hearties, yo ho!" while the original lyric is, "Drink up..." Clearly this is because we can't have those clean virtuous Jonases encouraging our children to drink. That would be disastrous. I find this really odd. Given all the other unchanged lyrics in the song, drinking is, in my mind the mildest thing being advocated. Let's take a closer look shall we?
"We pillage" - to strip ruthlessly of money or goods by open violence
"We plunder" - to rob of goods or valuables by open force
"We rifle" - to ransack and rob
"And loot" - to carry off or take (something) as loot
But we do NOT drink alcoholic beverages!
"We kidnap" - to steal, carry off, or abduct by force or fraud, esp. for use as a hostage or to extract ransom.
"And ravage" - to work havoc; do ruinous damage.
"And don't give a hoot" See, they don't even have the slightest bit of remorse.
But boozing is out of the question.
"We extort" - to wrest or wring (money, information, etc.) from a person by violence, intimidation, or abuse of authority; obtain by force, torture, threat, or the like.
"We pilfer" - to steal, esp. in small quantities.
"We filch" - to steal (esp. something of small value)
"and sack" - the plundering of a captured place
But not one drop until we're 21.
"Marauder" - to roam or go around in quest of plunder; make a raid for booty
"Embezzle" - to appropriate fraudulently to one's own use, as money or property entrusted to one's care.
"And even hijack" - to seize (a vehicle) by force or threat of force.
Remember to do all this sober, kids!
"We kindle" - to start (a fire); cause (a flame, blaze, etc.) to begin burning.
"And char" - to burn or reduce to charcoal.
"Inflame" - to set aflame, ablaze, or afire; set on fire.
" And ignite" - to set on fire; kindle.
But we be using no rum to be starting any of those fires. Yar!
"We burn up the city, we're really a fright" - in case there was any confusion about whether or not we actually mean arson and not that we're really passionate. We totally mean arson.
"We're rascals" - base, dishonest, or unscrupulous people.
"Scoundrels" - unprincipled, dishonorable people
"Villains" - cruelly malicious people who are involved in or devoted to wickedness or crime.
"And knaves" - unprincipled, untrustworthy, or dishonest people
But not alcoholics.
"We'redevils jokers" - Ah, another lyric that was changed. The Jonas brothers can be vandals, thieves, and arsonists, but they are good Christian vandals, thieves, and arsonists!
"And black sheep" - a person who causes shame or embarrassment because of deviation from the accepted standards of his or her group.
"Really bad eggs" - a person who is bad, dishonest, or unreliable; a good-for-nothing.
But we go to church every Sunday and don't even drink the communion wine.
"We're beggars" - a wretched fellow; rogue.
"And blighters" - a contemptible, worthless person, esp. a man; scoundrel or rascal.
"And ne'er do well" - worthless; ineffectual; good-for-nothing.
"cads" - an ill-bred man, esp. one who behaves in a dishonorable or irresponsible way toward women.
How much worse would we be if we drank, though?
"Aye but we're loved by our mommies and dads!" - And that's really what's important, isn't it?
I'm not saying the Jonas Brothers are actually advocating vandalism, robbery, arson, and mistreating women. I just find what they (or their Disney/Christian overlords) chose needed to be cleaned up. I assume that the majority of the song was left as is because they figured that people who listen to the Jonas Brothers wouldn't actually do any of the destructive behaviors listed by the song's lyrics, but there was a real danger of them raiding their fridges for their dad's cans of Natty Ice if the Jonases said it was cool.
Clearly pirates are a big thing among the preteens these days, (almost as big as sparkling vampires) so a fresh version of this song is a no-brainer. However, if your group is trying to maintain an ultra squeaky clean Christian image, like the Jonas Brothers are, this song is a bit counter to everything you stand for. Admittedly, it would be even stranger for them to change all the lyrics to things like, "We do all our homework and get to bed on time, stand up me hearties, yo ho!" but this halfway business is almost just as odd.
It reminds me a bit of how a portion of the ride was changed several years back from pirates chasing women, to women chasing pirates for stealing their food. Evidently it was deemed not politically correct to depict pirates chasing women. Also, as is evident by the recent update to Spaceship Earth in Epcot, it is not politically correct for a renaissance statue to have a bare female breast (it used to be there but is now covered up)
I think this is going just a little too far with the politically correctness. I don't think that kids got off the boat on Pirates of the Caribbean and immediately started chasing the first female they could find. Nor was anyone jumping out of their vehicle on Spaceship Earth to begin feverishly humping that statue.
In the latest re-release of Pinocchio, there is a "Don't smoke, kids!" warning at the beginning of the film, which I feel is redundant because if you actually watch the movie and have half a brain, you'll notice that everyone who smokes (with the exception of Geppetto in one tiny scene) is either an adult and a bad guy, or a child and turns into a donkey as a direct result. Do people really think that the message of, "Hey kid, if you smoke, you're a jackass!" wasn't getting through?
All This begs the question of why these changes were made. Were droves of people really complaining about these scenes? Or is Disney really that overly cautious about not offending anyone? Either way, when Disney has to be sanitized, political correctness has gone way too far.
I'm guessing that when you're a Disney teen singing sensation (and also when you wish upon a star) that you eventually have to do your own version of a Disney standard. It makes sense. Disney gets to resell songs that they probably don't have to pay any writers for to entirely new audiences. Lizzie Mcguire... uh, what was her real name? Oh yeah, Hillary duff, did, In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room. Back when she was the idol du jour, but times and tastes have changed and as weird as her remix was, it is not the point of this post.
Nay, people who are already bored and confused by this entry, This post is about The Jonas Brothers of all people, who have their very own version of, Yo Ho, (A Pirate's Life For Me). If you're in a particularly masochistic mood, here's a funky-fresh fan-vid I ganked off ye olde you tube.
"Have no fear of evil curses says you? Properly warned ye be, says I.
If you're familiar with the original song you may notice a few subtle differences between that one, and this omg so punx rawk! version by the brother's Jonas. The first thing that stuck out to me was that they never actually say the, "Yo ho, Yo, ho" part, but more important is how, much like the ride itself, this song has been sanitized for your protection.
The Brothers Jonas encourage you to, "Stand up me hearties, yo ho!" while the original lyric is, "Drink up..." Clearly this is because we can't have those clean virtuous Jonases encouraging our children to drink. That would be disastrous. I find this really odd. Given all the other unchanged lyrics in the song, drinking is, in my mind the mildest thing being advocated. Let's take a closer look shall we?
"We pillage" - to strip ruthlessly of money or goods by open violence
"We plunder" - to rob of goods or valuables by open force
"We rifle" - to ransack and rob
"And loot" - to carry off or take (something) as loot
But we do NOT drink alcoholic beverages!
"We kidnap" - to steal, carry off, or abduct by force or fraud, esp. for use as a hostage or to extract ransom.
"And ravage" - to work havoc; do ruinous damage.
"And don't give a hoot" See, they don't even have the slightest bit of remorse.
But boozing is out of the question.
"We extort" - to wrest or wring (money, information, etc.) from a person by violence, intimidation, or abuse of authority; obtain by force, torture, threat, or the like.
"We pilfer" - to steal, esp. in small quantities.
"We filch" - to steal (esp. something of small value)
"and sack" - the plundering of a captured place
But not one drop until we're 21.
"Marauder" - to roam or go around in quest of plunder; make a raid for booty
"Embezzle" - to appropriate fraudulently to one's own use, as money or property entrusted to one's care.
"And even hijack" - to seize (a vehicle) by force or threat of force.
Remember to do all this sober, kids!
"We kindle" - to start (a fire); cause (a flame, blaze, etc.) to begin burning.
"And char" - to burn or reduce to charcoal.
"Inflame" - to set aflame, ablaze, or afire; set on fire.
" And ignite" - to set on fire; kindle.
But we be using no rum to be starting any of those fires. Yar!
"We burn up the city, we're really a fright" - in case there was any confusion about whether or not we actually mean arson and not that we're really passionate. We totally mean arson.
"We're rascals" - base, dishonest, or unscrupulous people.
"Scoundrels" - unprincipled, dishonorable people
"Villains" - cruelly malicious people who are involved in or devoted to wickedness or crime.
"And knaves" - unprincipled, untrustworthy, or dishonest people
But not alcoholics.
"We're
"And black sheep" - a person who causes shame or embarrassment because of deviation from the accepted standards of his or her group.
"Really bad eggs" - a person who is bad, dishonest, or unreliable; a good-for-nothing.
But we go to church every Sunday and don't even drink the communion wine.
"We're beggars" - a wretched fellow; rogue.
"And blighters" - a contemptible, worthless person, esp. a man; scoundrel or rascal.
"And ne'er do well" - worthless; ineffectual; good-for-nothing.
"cads" - an ill-bred man, esp. one who behaves in a dishonorable or irresponsible way toward women.
How much worse would we be if we drank, though?
"Aye but we're loved by our mommies and dads!" - And that's really what's important, isn't it?
I'm not saying the Jonas Brothers are actually advocating vandalism, robbery, arson, and mistreating women. I just find what they (or their Disney/Christian overlords) chose needed to be cleaned up. I assume that the majority of the song was left as is because they figured that people who listen to the Jonas Brothers wouldn't actually do any of the destructive behaviors listed by the song's lyrics, but there was a real danger of them raiding their fridges for their dad's cans of Natty Ice if the Jonases said it was cool.
Clearly pirates are a big thing among the preteens these days, (almost as big as sparkling vampires) so a fresh version of this song is a no-brainer. However, if your group is trying to maintain an ultra squeaky clean Christian image, like the Jonas Brothers are, this song is a bit counter to everything you stand for. Admittedly, it would be even stranger for them to change all the lyrics to things like, "We do all our homework and get to bed on time, stand up me hearties, yo ho!" but this halfway business is almost just as odd.
It reminds me a bit of how a portion of the ride was changed several years back from pirates chasing women, to women chasing pirates for stealing their food. Evidently it was deemed not politically correct to depict pirates chasing women. Also, as is evident by the recent update to Spaceship Earth in Epcot, it is not politically correct for a renaissance statue to have a bare female breast (it used to be there but is now covered up)
I think this is going just a little too far with the politically correctness. I don't think that kids got off the boat on Pirates of the Caribbean and immediately started chasing the first female they could find. Nor was anyone jumping out of their vehicle on Spaceship Earth to begin feverishly humping that statue.
In the latest re-release of Pinocchio, there is a "Don't smoke, kids!" warning at the beginning of the film, which I feel is redundant because if you actually watch the movie and have half a brain, you'll notice that everyone who smokes (with the exception of Geppetto in one tiny scene) is either an adult and a bad guy, or a child and turns into a donkey as a direct result. Do people really think that the message of, "Hey kid, if you smoke, you're a jackass!" wasn't getting through?
All This begs the question of why these changes were made. Were droves of people really complaining about these scenes? Or is Disney really that overly cautious about not offending anyone? Either way, when Disney has to be sanitized, political correctness has gone way too far.
